branstarhk:

[anxiously hopes u consider me a friend]

muta got me this really nice ring and wrote the most heartfelt card, and even if it was the most stressful shit ever, my campers did put a lot of effort into caring about me. it was really, really nice. just, wow. muta is literally the best fucking friend. and elkaw too. just. wow. c:

tags: uriels shit + birthday stuff +
Baby: A-aaaa...
Mom: *gasps* baby's first word!
Baby: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN. THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING. IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR. I HAVE WATCHED YOUR ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE UNFOLD. I HAVE OBSERVED YOU WHILE YOU WOULD QUAKE AND TREMBLE IN PERSONAL PRAYERS OF SHAME. WHILE YOU PLEADED FORGIVENESS FOR BEING SUCH A WRETCHED DISGUSTING FAILURE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL. PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE. IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. SHRIEKED BY THE TEN THOUSAND ROWDY SHOUT SPHINCTERS PEPPERING THE GRUESOME UNDERBELLY OF THE MOST TRUCULENT GOD THE FURTHEST RING CAN MUSTER. IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE. IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.
tags: homestuck +

But I promise I will find a way back. It’ll just take a couple of days, a week max. I’ll be fine, I’m a scientist. Cecil, a scientist is usually fine.

(Source: three-legged-cow)

tags: wtnv + okay I give up Dylan Marron is celebrity crush level attractive im sorry +

tomorrow’s my birthday and i’m hella scared that my hair will not be birthday perfect this is an actual concern of mine. 

tags: uriels shit +

the-bucky-barnes:

myth66:

the-bucky-barnes:

myth66:

the-bucky-barnes:

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recess Break - Bucky, Natasha and Tony.

TONY WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONY GET OFF THE KIDS SWING TONY THATS A BAD IDEA 

SEE WHAT DID I TELL YOU TONY DAGNABBIT TONY ONE JOB

#shut up you’re all just jealous of my perfect form and flawless dismount

Sure we are, Stark. 

tags: avengers + winter soldier +

fallenangelflonne:

aknowlee:

basedmountaindew:

kaldriss:

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i love sandwiches

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i cant stand dubbed anime

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>god damn i hope my real teacher never comes back

>tell my girl i love subs
>she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed
>i’m 20,000 leagues under the fucking sea

(Source: grovyle)

danglingthpider:

castielmyspell:

taco-of-the-violets:

castielmyspell:

things people do in fanfic no one does in real life

  • smirk every frickin five seconds
  • gulp
  • stutter to be cute
  • be like “yeah ok” when asked to call someone “daddy”
  • chuckle gently
  • chuckle in general
  • make simple misunderstandings into the biggest bitch fest you will ever experience
  • NO ONE CHUCKLES IT DOESN’T HAPPEN

I chuckled so hard at this

fuck off

*smirks*

(Source: osrick)

casentine:

More doodling~~

tags: homestuck +

(Source: densityofstates)